The rain pounded hard against the window. But I could still hear them. The light footsteps of a child. Alone in the darkness of my bedroom I thought about hiding, or even jumping out the window. Yet I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by fear. I thought back to what had brought me to that moment.
Is the narrator male or female?
Why be afraid of a kid?
Is this one of the parents?
Why consider jumping out a window?
Is someone crazy?
I have to find out.
Now I want you to set your story aside for a few days. Once you have done this go back and read your opening paragraph. Ask yourself, does it leave me wanting more? Be honest:)