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Sunday, May 30, 2010

I Would Never Want to "Tame" My Daughter

When I sometimes look at my daughter I see a bygone version of myself. Like me she has a deep affection for music.  When a pleasing beat hits her ear she can’t help but to sway her young hips.  When I see this I smile and see her, truly see her for the individual that she is.  Others may think it inappropriate but why would I want to chide her for doing something that comes naturally?  I don't want to “tame” my girl.  I merely want to be able to guide her.  Hoping that when I do nudge her from my nest she will be well equipped to choose a proper path of flight.  But at what age will my girl stop being thought of as a mere girl by the world and be shifted to being thought of as a young woman?  I have a nephew who is only eight and already people refer to him as, little man.  I am a woman, a mother and yet there are times when I am still referred to as a girl.  Take the recent “Sex and the City 2” movie where when talking about the movie many have started a statement with, “the girls.”  Which brings me to Miley Cyrus who recently made some waves with her new video for the song, “Can’t be Tamed.”  Miley who is now 17 has been accused of  going from being a good role model to now being a bad one, due to her new supposed sexed up image.  As a girl I was a Madonna fanatic.  I remember how my fascination with the then rising pop star had bothered my mother.  At the time I did not get what the problem was.  While my mother was seeing a raunchy, pelvic thrusting woman, I saw an empowered woman.  I guess my path had been laid out long before I realized it, for it was Madonna’s lyrics that had me captivated not her skimpy outfits.  While the world was gawking at and talking about  her pointy bra  costumes I was hearing her words, “Express yourself, but respect yourself.  Hey, Hey.”  The problem was not Madonna it was my mother and other mothers like her, all who could not believe that it was them that had the biggest influence over their daughters.  Just because I liked an artist who had a sexed up image did not mean that I would suddenly turn promiscuous.  And for the record I did not:)  I read the lyrics of Miley’s “Can’t be Tamed” song several times and viewed the video as well before writing this entry.  The problem is not that the artist’s image has changed.  The problem is with the parents of her core audience who still see her as a girl instead of the young woman she has become. 

6 comments:

Bryoney said...

hey girl..it's Bryoney...I just read this one, but I plan on reading more of your blog. How's life, anyway? Have you finished another book? I've got a blog project going myself. If you have time, I would appreciate if you could check it out: postagestamprequired.wordpress.com.

Unknown said...

I like your blog. The banner at the top is nice.

Anonymous said...

I agree. My daughter is such a free spirit.

chris gotts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chris gotts said...

Hi Tanya,

I found your blog via the networkblogs discussions on facebook and I'm glad I did.
This is a good post. My eldest daughter has just turned 12 and is trying to adjust to life and conform to stereotype. We recently had a big chat on the values of being yourself and who are 'false' friends.
I thought it might have fell of deaf ears but the next time I saw her (she doesn't live with me) she wanted to pick up where we left off and said she had noticed some of the other girls at school who are 'deffo false'
if you want to look at my blog, not about that but just about my life and family etc, I'm at
www.chrisgotts.blogspot.com
take care

chris

Unknown said...

Great post!!!! You are right! We don't control, we guide.